When Success Feels Heavy

You’re the woman who gets things done. People look to you for answers, solutions, and leadership. You’re proud of what you’ve accomplished—and you should be. But there’s this weight you carry that no one seems to notice.

It’s the weight of keeping it all together, chasing the next goal and feeling burned out because there's isn't enough time to stop and smell the roses. You’re managing deadlines, keeping the peace, meeting expectations—while secretly wondering why it still doesn’t feel like enough.

If this sounds familiar, I see you. You’re not alone. And it doesn’t have to be this hard.

The Silent Trap of “I Should”

How many times a day do you tell yourself:

• I should be able to handle this.
• I should feel more grateful.
• I should be able to take this in stride but really, I'm struggling.
• I should be doing more.

These “should's” pile up, leaving no room for grace, ease, or even joy. The truth is, should is a trap. I wrote about this in Full of Herself. Should keeps you focused on what you think you’re supposed to be instead of celebrating who you actually are.

A Simple Shift That Changes Everything

Here’s a practice I share with my clients to lighten the load:

Replace “I should” with “I could.”

• Instead of “I should have a solid plan for 2025 by now,” try: “I could write down what I know and let the rest evolve.”
• Instead of “I should have all the answers,” try: “I could ask for help and trust my team to step up.”
• Instead of “I should be more put together,” try: “I could let myself be human and take a break.”

This small change reminds you that you always have a choice. You don’t have to meet everyone else’s expectations—you get to decide what truly matters to you.

The Courage to Be Seen

The world doesn’t need you to be perfect; it needs you to be real. I struggle with this and excel at it every single day.

In a conversation I was having two days ago, I walked away thinking I should have asked more questions and I shouldn't have been so scared of sounding silly. I was shaming myself for feeling intimated by this person's success. Since I'm an advocate for telling the whole story, it's important for me to remember that I also shared honestly about my life and asked this person a couple of questions that were genuinely on my heart. During the interaction I noticed that I felt more out of my body than in my body. And, that's ok.

My big takeaway for the thousandth time, while reflecting on the conversation in my journal, was that I'm enough. I want to be comfortable, engaged and ask questions of those who are considerably more successful than me since that's one of my edges. 

That feels like being full of myself and that's when the magic happens because I feel at peace with who I am; I get to feel proud of developing new behaviors and honoring my growth.

When we let go of the “should's” and choose to show up as our whole selves—messy, brilliant, and everything in between—we create space for connection, confidence, and ease.

Here's our reminder: We don’t have to carry it all. We don’t have to prove ourselves. We’re already enough.

So, what’s one “should” you can let go of today?