I Didn't Fall Madly, Deeply in Love

When my child was handed to me after birth, I didn't fall madly, deeply in love.

I felt relieved that he was healthy. 

I felt relieved and grateful that childbirth was over.

I felt infringed upon that I now had to breastfeed even though it was my choice to do so. My body has just grown this human for ten months, given birth to it for eight hours, and now you want it to keep giving? What is this?

I wasn't fawning over my baby.

My love grew steadily and intensely.

I was learning how to be a mother to this person I was now carrying in the outside world. 

We were getting to know each other.

I'm sharing this story because I don't hear this story enough, or ever, and because it's a great example of a fantasy we are sold.

You-hold-your-child-for-the-first-time-and-the-heavens-open kinda fantasy. If you did feel this way, amazing.

For all of us, at some point in our lives, the reality does not match the fantasy and we feel disillusioned. Maybe you feel that way about life, in general, right now. If so, claim your spot in The Pump It Up Membership. We have your back. 

I'm using a big, life moment as an example. Fantasies exist in our everyday lives. Imagine going to a new restaurant and it's not as good as you hoped. Why did I pick this place; I knew we should have gone to the place we know. For the record, you didn't know, otherwise you would have gone. 

You might feel like you're falling short, you're beating yourself up, you're ruminating, you're worrying because of a FANTASY you were sold, or, an expectation you created.

A definition of the word fantasy is; the faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable. Another definition says: an idea about doing something that is far removed from normal reality.

Fantasies are a wonderful form of escapism. We need them. We crave them. I believe they can become reality, too. 

What I don't need is denial; denial of the truth, of myself, of my story.

It's my job to accept my experiences, and share them. It's your job, too.

Doing so grounds us in reality which creates peace and a more fully expressed version of ourselves. 

Pay attention to your fantasies. How might they be hurting you? How might they be preventing you from accepting what is.

Let's normalize reality.

Let's share our truths. Someone else needs to hear them and see us trust them.