I Hope my Grandmother Dies Soon

In a recent post about God, I wrote that, for me, God, is learning how to dance with the magic of life. 

The magic I refer to is how to feel fully self-expressed, how to be exactly you in most moments, to have the self awareness to relish in what makes you great and what you struggle with.

I thought I might share a few examples of things we might be brave enough to say and write, that normalize the magic and put it within our grasp.

• I prepare a great meal with great ingredients that I am proud of. Then I stand in the kitchen stuffing my face with ice-cream because it didn't fill the hole. 
• I know it's important to prioritize my health, and I do. I'm often judging myself by the number on the scale rather than how I feel. How I feel is too ambiguous.
• There is nothing I'd rather do than look after your grandmother. I also hope she dies soon because the weight of this caregiving is unbearable. (Brene Brown inspired quote) 
• If everyone around me is more out of shape than me, I feel great in my swimsuit. If I'm the biggest, I feel like crap. 
• I'm so happy I landed this incredible speaking gig. It's exactly what I wanted. I also want to die, run, and burn it all to the ground. 

Only when we can be honest about the duality of our daily experiences is there space enough for the magic to blossom. 

Remember, it's always and.

With Love,

Sarah x