Do you try to wrestle joy out of your life?
Are you a person that holds your breath?
Are you worrying about what people think about you?
Yeah, me too. And, I've learned strategies to keep the focus on me and play my game so perfection and control don't take away my magic.
I was at the Grow for God conference this week and I was emotionally up and down.
There were moments on day one, as I was listening to other amazing speakers, when I thought, "I don't think I belong here. How am I going to match up?"
I kept reminding myself, If I'm in this room, I belong. I was invited for a reason, so I belong. Let me trust myself and God and Tamra who invited me to be here.
There were other moments where I was less worried about what I was going to say and more worried about being mic'd up, if I'd trip up on stage, whether to walk or dance to my walk-out song, what I'd be able to see and not see through the bright lights.
I was worried about these things because they were new to me. I've spoken a good amount in my career and never on a big stage.
Vulnerability is defined as risk, uncertainty, and emotional exposure. All weekend long I experienced moments where I felt at risk, uncertain, and emotionally exposed.
I came back to Brene Brown's words, and even shared them on stage.
When I think I can avoid vulnerability, I engage in behaviors that are inconsistent with who I want to be.
In other words, we have to walk into the hard moments, eyes wide open, aware of all of our thoughts and feelings, with no guarantees that we will thrive. That's vulnerability. It can be gut-wrenching.
While we can't predict outcomes, and sometimes they might royally suck, the pride we feel for the effort and courage it takes to step out on faith will always outweigh the regret of avoidance.
There were also moments at the conference when I knew I would enjoy myself, that I was going to kill it, and that I belonged.
The power of and is beautiful. I can be scared and sure, at the same time.
If you're doubting yourself this week, remember that, most of all, you belong to yourself. Find the courage to show up as you and start to trust that feeling, little by little.
p.s. please forward this to a friend who struggles with perfectionism and believing in herself.