Think You're Broken?

Part of the issue, as high-functioning perfectionists, is that we are so hard on ourselves.

Heaven-forbid we make mistakes.

We know logically that we make mistakes all the time, and we need to in order to grow, yet emotionally we don't have the tolerance and the skills to withstand the vulnerability that mistakes bring up.

We pick apart what we said, replay conversations, and focus on what we did wrong because doing so protects us from anybody else's criticism. Meaning, if I can say it about myself first, I don't feel so exposed by what you might say about me.

That's why I found myself replaying what I said while speaking at an event last week and I want to change that pattern. Spinning myself in circles isn't working for me any more. It sucks because it leaves me feeling small, isolated and in fear.

Here's a revelation.

What if you don't need fixing?

What if there's nothing wrong with you?

I'm not posing these questions in an attempt to ignore the areas in which you can grow. I'm positing that instead of believing that you're broken or not enough, you can start to believe that you are whole already.

For example, want more success for yourself not because you're trying to fill a hole, but because you're excited about growing and who you might become.

Don't beat yourself up for what you said in order to drag yourself down and create that familiar state of chaos. Instead, examine if there is anything you can tweak because you want to be a better communicator.

These are practical examples of tweaking our intentions so that we're coming from a place of wholeness rather than brokenness.

The essential ingredient required to catalyze wholeness is compassion.

Start acknowledging how well you criticize yourself. I know it sounds counter-intuitive. Stick with me. Literally say to yourself, Look at how well criticism has served me. I'm a great criticizer. Look at how well I protected myself and kept myself safe. Gosh, I am a master at this.

This approach of self-compassion is a practice in acceptance. In real time, you're changing the aggressive narrative and creating safety and ease in your system.

When we learn to love ourselves and make ourselves right (very different to ignoring the truth) we embody wholeness. That's what I want more of so I'm actively practicing this approach.

I think you're tremendous. We're in this together.

With Love,

Sarah x

p.s. Buy my book here.

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