I'm Learning to Trust Myself. Are you?

Every person I coach is looking to trust themselves more.

No exceptions.

I want to share an important experience that helped me find my voice that little bit more.

A few months ago I was invited to be considered to speak at an event. The event sounded fantastic; the biggest audience I would have spoken in front of, and interesting women spearheading the effort.

My name was in the hat as a potential speaker and I would hear back.

A little while past and I thought, “Oh, I never heard any more about that event.” My first thought was, “Maybe they didn’t think I was the right fit,” and not in a pragmatic way. More like a victim; “Poor me, they didn’t like me.”

These thoughts are great examples of other-focused thoughts, which keep us hustling for our worth. 

No judgment, simply observing.

No sooner did I have these thoughts than an email landed in my inbox inviting me to speak.

As I began to read the email, I knew the event wasn’t for me. I found myself grimacing rather than smiling. 

Seems like it would be easy to say no then, doesn’t it?

My mind thought differently with ideas such as these:

Why would you give up a perfectly good speaking gig?

What if you’re missing out?

Maybe you should get on the phone with the leadership team and double-check your instinct.

What if I’m sabotaging my success?

If I want my business to grow I should take whatever opportunity is placed in my lap.

I’m a loser for not saying yes.

What if someone I know is part of it? Will I be jealous and wish I’d said yes?

Why do you have to not like the details? Why can’t you go with the flow?

You’ve resisted things before and then loved them.

What about new business and connections you might miss out on?

My friend, you are not alone in your thinking. Our brains are designed to keep us safe and, in doing so, we can betray ourselves if we aren’t aware and supported. 

I learned what I have learned to do over many years.

I decided to trust myself enough to get quiet.

I didn’t need to talk it out. 

There was nothing to figure out.

As my dear friend, Di, told me many years ago, “It’s just a feeling. Don’t pay it too much attention because just as quickly as it comes, it will go.” This is not my go-to thought in a world where I am serious about my feelings.

I kept coming back to no.

Finally, I sent an email saying,  “This isn’t the right fit for me and I wish you the best for a fantastic event, which I know it will be.” 

The best part? Not only did I trust myself, but I also didn’t explain myself.

Marvelous.

I want to reiterate that I know how to trust myself, as do you. 

Allow yourself to get quiet enough to give your instincts room to breathe. For me that happens through meditation, stepping away, journaling, The Pump Up Session, and walking.

Reply to this email sharing a story of how you have trusted yourself recently.

Much Love,

Sarah xxx